ravenwho

It has been FOREVER since I have added any pcis on here.  It has been forever since I have went out shooting pics for enjoyment.  Seems all I o is assembly line take pics of things we have for sale.  Well I am attending college online now with a major in digital cinematography.    So starting now I am going to be more active on here.  Taking more pics myself, etc.

I am working on manifesting a better camera.  Let me put it this way most cellpones have more megapixels than my current camera!  But I am grateful to have the one I do don't get me wrong.  However I do want to get either  DSLR or crossover type camera.  If anyone has an older one, I would really like to have 10 megapixels but would be content with even 8, that they no longer use nd would consider either 1) bartering for it (preferred) we have LOTS of stuff see www.photobucket.com/ravenbarter  and that is not even everything  2) letting me make payments on it or 3) a long term loan of the camera please keep me in mind.

So I am asking for your support here, accountability.  I am going to be going out to take some pics of some rescue horses the beginning of the week but please if you don't see activity here at least once a week stay on my case?

Hope this finds you all well my friends and enjoying the pact of renewal that Spring brings with it.  I had some things happen lately that have really caused me to think about a lot of things.  Actually there was one "thing" and one moment of observation of nature that left me breathless.  I am going to attempt to combine them in a short essay type letter here.  So here we go...

I don't think it will surprise anyone if I say life has been rather rough lately.  You all know that.  And for a while there I felt like the guy who drives the ball vac at the golf driving range but with no protective cage around me.  Just seemed things were either hitting me in the head or coming in at near miss and I was just being pelted.  I was exasperated, exhausted and rather literally on the edge of melt down.  I had to go back to Rock Hill, an almost 4 hr drive, to see the pain clinic there for my meds as I have had no success in getting in somewhere here.  I had no idea how I was going to get there as what I had put aside for living for a bit was swallowed up in plumbing and other repairs.  I was just at that spot where nothing looks good and you have some nasty thoughts racing across your brain.

I am blessed with some awesome friends though.  And an angel who masquerades as a human helped me out and I was able to get there, get my meds and get back home.  While there I spent the night at my dear friend Tina's.  Her sister was visiting and we had wine and cheese and talked and laughed and watched a movie together and I so needed that.  Just that 4-5 hrs of forgetting as I enjoyed good company and relaxed.  It was refreshing.

But while waiting for Tina to get home I realized I had seen my "travel kite" in the load of stuff I had gotten out of storage. (we will not discuss the whole storage issue.  I am trying to maintain a good mood.)  So, since there was a stiff breeze blowing, I decided to go fly a kite.  It was great fun even if it did not get up that high.  I highly recommend getting one of these.  Mine says "Pocket Parafoil" and it is a complete kit with a nylon kite, string, tail all bundled up in its own tavel bag.

As I was flying the kite I realized that life was very similar in some  ways.  Quite often to get higher in life you have to face a strong head wind.  Pressure to acheive.  And it is us standing up to that pressure that takes us higher to acheive new things.  But, like a kite, you need to have a rudder, or in the case of a kite, a tail.  That tail keeps the kite flying steady and higher.  It balances things out to help the kite stay up and on course.  I have found that you, my friends, are my rudder, my tail on my kite in life.  It is friends that will support you when you are down, give you a shoulder to lean (or cry) on.  To make sure you don't get yourself in a situation to go spinning out of control.  That is what friends do in so many ways.    Take a moment to tell those people that you love and appreciate them.  Because sometimes just hearing that can really make someones day.

Driving back from Blacksburg I had time to think.  There are some changes I need to make in life so I don't get back in that black pit of depression.  I am making every effort to kind of schedule my day.  Because when you are in depression the smallest thing seems to be overwhelming and you get this why bother attitude.  But I discovered the other day that if you make the effort to do one simple thing that sometimes that can brighten your whole day and change your outlook.  I had purchased some flowers for the yard.  Kind of putting diamonds on a sow but I am trying.  But I had never planted them.  I saw them setting there and so I got the soil and started planting them and it felt so good.  The sunshine the fresh air, the smell of good earth.  But for me a schedule really helps.

Even if you are not feeling blue actually to keep you from getting there take a minute to notice and appreciate things!  Driving home I went around this bend in Florence, which is a bigger city than I anticipated btw, and suddenly found myself in this wonderful, beautiful green tunnel from the foliage.  Everything in bloom and bowing over the road.  It was beautiful!  It only lasted for about a tenth of a mile.  But because of that kickstart I am planning to go out and start taking pictures other than for ebay in the next few days!

I also went to the library today and got a card and some books.  I realized I have not been reading either.  The things I love I have not been doing.  That is going to change!  So I have already put the books I got up on GoodReads.com

So go out and enjoy the spring! Go fly a kite!
Peace and love,
Raven

So I had to move.  It rather sucked as, while I knew it was not my "forever" home, I did like the 3 acres and the space.  But such is life.  Until I get the SSI straightened out asap for my RSD/CRPS (way to many acronyms for one sentence) I have downsized considerably.  It is an adjustment.

I am in Pamplico,SC now.  I moved SE instead of the intended NW.  But the Universe knew what I did not.  While I do do better in cooler weather COLD weather kicks my heiney.  So I am dealing with the heat but at least closer to the beach!  And until the SSI I can afford this place.

So I am trying to start out with a new thought process and new attitude.  Also stepping outside my comfort zone in a number of ways.  

I think I am going to not date any more.  I want to make friends of all types...female, male, young, old, black, white, yellow, red, green, etc.  Just be and try to expand my awareness and self.

To push awareness and my comfort zone to expand my Self.  To really have an intimate relationship with self. (NO! not in that way! lol)

I am done with trusting others in a romantic way and having my heart and ass handed to me on a platter.  That is going to take a lot of healing before I even THINK about that arena.

So as part of this growth process I hope to take more photos again.

Wow! I have not written here in some time!  Sorry.  Things have been....well busy, ya busy would be a good word.

I have gone through the first two denials for Social Security.  That is a good thing.  Chances are better now that we are at the hearing level.  The first two are a given.  It is VERY rare to get it on the first two.

Brandon has moved out west and I miss him dearly!  I really see me/us moving out there sooner than later.  Maybe another year or two here. I dunno.  He is in Idaho right on the Washington state border.  

I have been busy trying to find ways to make money.  There is a good chance Lisa may be laid off soon.  Economy sucks all over.  We are getting our websites up and saying some prayers!

I got a new kitten!  It was crazy.  I have 3 outdoor cats. (well 2 that come in on occasion but mainly stay outside and one who always stays outside she is semi wild)  It is not unusual to see one or two other cats visiting on occasion.  Usually one I call Big Tom, I know not original at all, a big pastel orange and white.  And Ghost who is white with black spots and only comes when the other cats are elsewhere.  If she sees a human or another cat she disappears.

Well about a month ago Brandon and I go out to go to the store and there is this pretty & unusually marked I think kitten.  About 4 mos old.  Grey tabby like with white markings but tan/brown spot on her face and across her hip.  She was on the rail and I kind of brushed her as I was reaching for the rail.

We came back from the store and she RAN to greet us!  Walked me to the door and tried to come in with us.  She sat out there yowling and crying for about half hour and then Lisa said...go let in your new cat!

I opened the door ans she strolled in and made herself at home.  Gone With The Wind is one of my favorite movies and the kitten is now Ms Pittypat.

I have not taken as many pictures lately and that is going to change!  Watch for new ones soon!